The Friendship Connection-

Friends are important to all of us. Friends are people who choose to be with us, not because they are paid or because they are obligated, but rather because they like us, share common likes and experiences. The issue of the importance of friendships for persons with MR/DD has become a common theme in much of the current discussion and research among those who support individuals diagnosed with MR/DD. In Building Social Relationships Through Valued Roles: Three Older Adults and the Community Membership Project (Simmons et al), and Friendships Between People with and Without Disabilities, (Pottie and Sumarah) it is clear that being included in the ebb and flow of community is important in the lives of the people we support. It is also important to the families that love and care for them. Many times I have sat with a parent and talked with them about the dreams they have for their children. One of the dreams that is expressed most often is “I wish [my child] could have a friend.

This lack of connectedness and lack of friendship has been identified by the IM4Q (Independent Monitoring for Quality) study as a serious concern and as a result of these findings the importance of developing friends has been established as a priority in OMR’s (Office of Mental Retardation) Quality Improvement Plan under the Everyday Lives Principle of Relationships. To assure improvement on this, the IM4Q Steering Committee will be measuring friendships outside of staff and family. Peaceful Living is proposing to respond to that lack of friends and lack of connectedness in all corners of our communities.

Peaceful Living has recently begun a Friendship Connection Program in which individuals with MR/DD are matched with volunteers from the community through a process which brings people together around common interests and activities. PL would assure that the friends that have been recruited comply with all clearances such as drug, child abuse, have appropriate driver’s licenses similar to an employee. PL would provide quarterly trainings offered for ongoing and newly recruited friends. A friend makes a commitment to spend at least four hours per month with their friend and agrees to at least 2 trainings per year. There would also be a “Friends Banquet” each year where all the friends and all the persons served can receive recognition and celebrate their life in the community.

Individuals, who participate in this program, will have the opportunity to develop new friendships and more connections in their communities, the individual’s families will see their family member grow and become more independent. For “normal people” we will learn what it means to slow down and enjoy life, it is a gift given to those who take time for each other, and as stated in Friendships Between People with and Without Disabilities ….“We conclude with the proposition that cultivating connections, fostering relationships and constructing caring communities is relational work that is essential and beneficial for all of us” (Pottie and Sumarah, p. 64).

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